There may be a time in a couple’s relationship where they would ask themselves and wonder just how often should they be having sex? Answers may vary and it may not be clear but as what most sex therapists have discussed about this intimate and very personal topic for committed couples “What is the average amount of sex that couples should be having?” The common answers ranged from once a week to once a month.
But to most therapists and relationship counselors, there is no one right answer. This is because a lot of factors come into play when we talk about the frequency of sex married couples have. Factors would include: age, health, lifestyle and a lot more. And one’s libido and intimacy and believe it or not some factors would even include religion and cultural beliefs.
However, here is a very important note that all couples should remember, that sexual frequency is not an indicator of sexual satisfaction.
Based on a General Society Survey’s data of 2018, about 660 married couple, 25% shared that they had sex once a week, 16% two to three times a week, 5% had four or more times a week while 17% had sex once a month, 19% two to three times per month, 10% hadn’t had sex in the past year and 7% had sex once or twice in the past year.
How often married couples should have sex
Again, there is no ideal number as to the frequency married couples should have sex in a specific period. Like any other things inside a relationship, each is based on their own personal preferences. It will always be based on their individual needs and desire for intimacy and romance.
Determining a couple’s sexual frequency will only reinforce performative sex, a way to go through the thought of just ticking the box. Like an obligatory task.
In a 2015 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science journal, it stated that couples are happiest when they have sex about once a week. Their happiness with the relationship decreased when couples had sex less frequently than that, but it didn't increase if they had sex more often than that.
And as always, it is never a good idea to compare your sex life to anybody else’s sex life. Just like any other thing you have in your life, never compare yourself to anybody. Our sexual relationship is unique and is not the same with other married couples.
Looking at statistics may be interesting but thinking that you're having sex fewer times than your peers, may only make you feel bad and might just affect your relationship instead. So, should you ask yourself again just how often should married couples have sex? It is worth noting that there is just no perfect answer to that question.